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| Friday, January 8th, 2010 | | 10:52 pm |
Management at Longman Schools in China
I am about to be cheated out of a couple hundred RMB for being sick. According to Learning (Longman Schools), if I miss class due to illness, they will dock my pay (even though I am salaried). I texted my campus manager (to be known as "Bitch" from here on till her hopefully early demise) in the wee hours of the morning saying I was sick and unable to come to work. This is a person who is devoid of any office or management skills and is completely inept. Her office is thoroughly disorganized, no one knows what is happening and she rules with threats and orders. If she was in any other country I'm sure she'd be a janitor. I'll write a complete blog about her later. Anyway, here is the ensuing text and phone call conversation I had for her over the course of the day, near verbatim for you to enjoy. TEXT: Me: I am sick. i can't come into work today. Bitch: How sick? Why cant? Me: very sick with a fever. Bitch: then hand in hospital paper, & dont tell me you wont/didnt go. **Missed her phone call** Bitch: I wont accept any message leave asking. If you dont answer my call, I cant decide if give you the leave. If you dont get the leave & you cant show, you will be docked. so consider before 14:00. Me: Sorry I missed your call. I was asleep. I also don't answer unrecognized phone numbers. Bitch: Tomorrow you have a new class of yourself to open, if you cant come, I have to give it to others. Me: I want the class but I probably will still be sick tomorrow. Bitch: If you want the class call the office at ########## Phone Conversation (Summary) -Her English skills closely resemble that of my dog, only understanding basic commands and words. Me: I am sick. I'm not sure if I can make it today or tomorrow. Bitch: You don't sound sick. You must work every day. Me: I am sick anyway. Bitch: If you dont go hospital, then you are not sick Me: Your logic is flawed. Bitch: My logic is simple. Blah blah X 30 seconds. Me: **Hang Up** TEXT: Me: I'm feeling better. I should be able to make it tomorrow. Bitch: That's good! See you tomorrow. That petty and obtuse tyrant accused me of lying to her about being sick and threatened to take away 150RMB per hour of class I missed. Unfortunately, that clause about docking pay is in my contract. I don't know if it's legal or not but if we are sick, they take away our money. Now, I wasn't really sick, I just wanted to skip one of the last days of my stupid substitution classes. And I haven't missed even one minute of work since I started here. But she's not smart enough to know that. She called me a liar out of spite and stupidity. She's just a petty tyrant that's a product of the Chinese management system- inept in every way shape and form. I think things will only escalate with me and her. One day I will explode and god only knows what will happen then. I am already dreaming of how I will quit and what I can do in the upcoming weeks prior to that. Oh, the possibilities... | | Monday, December 28th, 2009 | | 9:56 pm |
A Taste of a Chinese Office
Three small events will in no way explain in its entirety the ineptitude and stupidity of a miserly and poorly run office. But they sure will give you a clue as to the management style of many Chinese companies. 1. The "Christmas Party"- I would hardly call it a Christmas party since there were no decorations or bounty of food and drink in the old, decrepit building. All we got, for about 50 people, was some candy, 10 beers and a few bottles of soda and a small bucket of KFC per table. As each campus performed their elaborate and well-rehearsed Christmas play (except ours was only like 4 minutes) of Jack in the Beanstalk, Swiss Family Robinson or Tom Sawyer, I was surprised anyone made it to the party at all. For Learning's own Christmas party, which took place on December 23rd, at 1:30pm, the official text from head office to tell everyone (except they forgot to tell some people) was on December 23rd at 12:00pm. I had fortunately found out the day before. Head office had notified everyone over a month ago that their would be a party. But after about two weeks of asking where and when, I think everyone just gave up. 2. The Saturday Demo Class- A campus manager from a different campus sent me two, yes, two emails four days prior telling me about a upcoming class that I must teach. She included a lesson plan she made for me (which included "The Touching Game" and the unfamiliar vocabulary word 'storking') and the location. What she forgot to mention was what time and what day I was suppose to teach. Oops. So I ignored it, not caring if she would actually tell me the time. It turns out it was Saturday morning at 10am, two and a half hours before I'm supposed to work that day. I found this out at 12:30, of course, when I actually went to work. Multiple people called me a total of 10 times that morning. And with my phone on silent, I reveled in their scramble to get contact me. Head office didn't know my schedule and assumed I would be working at that time and so told the campus manager I could do the class. 3. Today's Meeting- The last Monday of every month at 1:30pm, we have a teacher's meeting at Head office. It's a complete waste of time where topics of importance are replaced with learning the new dance moves to Mr. Golden Sun. Well, I arrived at Head office precisely at 1:30 only to find out it was canceled. "Oh, didn't you get the email?", Helen asked. No I didn't. I never received an email. And 20 minutes later, I receive a text from the very same Helen telling me that the meeting I had already arrived for and found out was canceled, was canceled. Thanks. | | Monday, December 21st, 2009 | | 11:54 am |
Making My Way Around Shanghai, Part 1
Posted on street corners at busy intersections all around Shanghai, and in other major Chinese cities, there are the 'Corner Cops', as I call them. They definitely aren't cops and have no real authority but you wouldn't think it so if you were a first time visitor. Who are they, then? Corner Cops, mainly from the countryside I figure, manage the pedestrian traffic on their little corner of the intersection in the government's ongoing effort to train its citizens on the dos and don'ts of crossing the street. I have no problem with that. Jaywalking is a problem here and can be quite dangerous, especially when people traverse en masse amidst oncoming buses, trucks, cars, mopeds, bikes and the occasional three-wheeled contraption. So these Corner Cops, armed with a whistle and international orange sign on the back of their jacket, aim to control all these jaywalkers. They constantly and very loudly blow the whistle at anything they deem a infraction of the rules, even a fraction of a pinky toe lifted off of the curb and onto the street. Giving the crosswalk too wide a birth? TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!! Take an anticipatory step before being allowed to cross? TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!! The whistles are loud and obnoxious. I guess I have no problem with this either. They can order people around and make sure they don't cross when they aren't supposed to. What I do find annoying, superfluous and downright insulting is the Corner Cops ordering me to cross the street. When the CC appraises the intersection safe to cross (whether or not it is), he or she will blow the whistle at you again! Don't tell me when I have to cross the street. I can do that at my own leisure. One day, in the early morning when few people where out and about, I was patiently waiting to cross the street. When the near clarion blast (that will surely blow out my eardrum one day) pierced the morning air, I stood there. Mr. Corner Cop looked at me and blew the whistle again, right at me. I just turned to him and glared. Only when he gave up on me did I go. It's their right to tell me when I shouldn't cross but not their right to force me to cross. Damn straight. | | Monday, December 7th, 2009 | | 2:30 pm |
China Update
The keyboard is missing the 'n' button. It sucks to type. Oh, I have rejected and neglected my blog for some time now. But I've been in China for 3 months now. So much has happened what can I say? My job sucks, absolutely sucks. It is the worst job I've ever had. They treat us so poorly. For example, we are salaried but have to punch in and out and if we need to miss some work, they dock us. That is hardly what I called salaried. They lie right to our faces. The office is inept and never knows anything. One girl is so useless I call her 'Paperweight'. My center manager is a total bitch and has all the qualities that make this place hell, namely, she can't manage anything, doesn't know anything and lies all the time. Funny thing is, we have the exact same birthday. I am only two hours older tha her. She told, not sure if it's true (and anyway it's ridiculous) that if I punch in 1 minute late it counts as punching in 1 hour late. Also, if I punch out one minute early, it's like punching out one hour early. She tried to get me to work an extra hour once and I refused and left while she was still talking to me. They try to control us like they do the Chinese teachers but they can't. Office hours are totally dumb. You just sit there and do nothing for hours on end. Ok, that's enough complaining. If anything else comes up, I'll write about it. I have two classes. The little kids are pretty cute. Just last week I did a extra activity class with about 20 six year olds, none of them my students. One kid, without saying anthig or even trying to leave, just peed in his pants while sitting in his chair. Only after did he wet himself that he tried to leave. He left a pee puddle on the floor and some of the other kids decided to roll in it. They tracked pee all over the floor and on their clothes. It was disgusting. I wouldn't touch a kid for the rest of the class. As for the kid, I didn't know his name so I called him Pee Pants for the rest of the class. I'll double my efforts in updating my blog. | | Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | | 9:49 am |
I'm Back and Mostly Not Oppressed
The 60th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China has come and gone and so too the tight reigns of control over the internet. I can now get on most blogs but am still having trouble connecting to facebook. My friend has a proxy program that is supposed to be immune to the government's regulation and I should get it soon. Pics and updates are soon forthcoming on facebook, I hope. Chinese mosquitoes suck! | | Monday, September 14th, 2009 | | 6:05 pm |
Woo Hoo!
It's hasn't even been a week that I left but it feels like it was months ago. Let's see, what's happened to me so far. Um, all the new teachers got a physical which included an ultrasound (I'm not pregnant!), ekg, blood test, color blind test, a questionnaire asking if I have had diseases like the plague, leprosy, psychosis, yellow fever, etc. Strange test. I've just been living in a tiny hotel room this entire time hoping to find out where I will work so I can find an apartment. Shanghai is an amazing city and I can't wait to explore it further. I miss everyone and I don't know anyone here. I met other new teachers. They are cool but I don't have their phone number or know where they live. I hope I make some friends soon. Still trying to figure out how to connect to Facebook. I found a way to login but all I can do is read what people wrote. I cannot write anything or respond. Weird. More later once I get my life in order. Oh yeah, they made me audition the day after I got in. There were three teachers pretending to be kids and I had to do two impromptu lessons. They were whiney and annoying. | | Thursday, September 10th, 2009 | | 7:56 pm |
Wow
Oh my, it seems livejournal is not blocked now. Of course, Xanga still is. And so is Facebook, which really sucks. So I am glad to announce there will be regular updates on this blog. | | Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 | | 9:12 am |
Quick Update
OK, got into a car accident a few days ago. That sucked. It was my first one. Everyone was ok, just some minor damage to both persons front sides, dents, scraps, etc. This blog might be out of commission for a while. Last time I checked, both of my blogs were blocked in China. I'm leaving in a few hours. Sad to leave. I miss everyone | | Friday, September 4th, 2009 | | 9:55 am |
Na x 9 Got a Job!
The days of unemployment (and the Summer of David) are soon to end! As I have unfortunately discovered, unemployment is no less a plague than the locusts descending upon Egypt, each day another cloying verse in the poem of unending free time. But no more! I am now a teacher, gainfully employed to shape the minds of children with a foreign language. I have a new and sudden sense of liberty. By the time I start, I will have suffered and yet strangely enjoyed just over 10 months of being without a purpose. Yay! | | Thursday, August 6th, 2009 | | 12:38 pm |
I Ban International Talk Like a Pirate Day
A few days ago I was wiling away the hours through the pleasant lassitude of another lazy summer afternoon by watching the Lifetime reruns of the tv series Wife Swap. One of the families in this episode was a pirate family, parents so inspired by the Hollywood lifestyle of swashbuckling buccaneers that it consumes their entire life. Think of the Renaissance Festival 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Their poor kid (and dog) is doomed to fail if he is continued to be raised under the winds of his parents monumental ignorance and idiocy. These scofflaws days are spent indulging in their own fancy, whether it be sword fighting, belting out a hearty "Arrggh!"or just turning their noses at conventional society. I doubt they actually know anything about real pirates anyway. At least that is how they were portrayed in the episode. Anyway, the narrator mentions that the father of this Portland family (of course it's Portland) is the founder of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, a once novel idea to me that happened to fall on my birthday. Now that this man's salient trait of stupidity has been revealed, I can no longer support this annual event of unleashing the inner buccaneer. Do not support him anymore. How about a Talk Like Me Day instead? Hmm...maybe not. | | Monday, July 27th, 2009 | | 9:46 am |
| | Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 | | 10:29 am |
Jobs Galore
After an fervent and exhaustive 20 minute internet search, I have finally landed a job interview teaching English in Shanghai. Haha, 'twas nothing. Finding a teaching job over there is like shooting fish in a barrel. Finding a good one? That's the main hurdle. This one looks pretty good. In other news, the original job I interviewed for (in manufacturing) is back on the table and I plan to meet with them in August. I'm sure that I will have already accepted the teaching job and, I'm sure it happens many times, I will have to back out. At least I won't have signed a contract. | | Sunday, July 19th, 2009 | | 6:39 pm |
Plan B
In my haste to move to China, I have made a grave error in arranging my affairs. This week I purchased my plane ticket to leave September 8th but ran into the China visa quandary. I soon after realized that without a job I only can get a tourist visa. These visas can last up to a year with multiple entries, but my stay for each time I enter China is only a measly thirty days. After thirty days are up, I must leave the country for a day or two and then return. So, I did an appraisal of all my miserable, miserable options. Here they are: A) Obtain a one-year multiple-entry tourist visa and fly to Hong Kong every month B) Get a job teaching English but fast C) Live in China illegally on a expired visa D) Give up, not go and pray I get that job I interviewed for I choose B. | | Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 | | 7:25 pm |
They Only Come Out at Night and During the Day
So, I have severely neglected my blog this summer and I aim to make amends. Everyone is clamoring to see pictures of CONvergence 2009. Well, here's the link: http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a121/daidawei/Convergence%202009/The pictures do not even remotely do justice to the CON experience. For that, one must either attend or watch my amazing videos. All I can say is that I had a fun time but I would never do it again. Attending such an event is a near phantasmagorical experience mixed with fat people, Furries and Klingons. I cannot abide another CON. | | Friday, June 19th, 2009 | | 11:12 am |
| | Monday, June 1st, 2009 | | 10:52 am |
Part Deux: Predators in Paradise
Of all the concerns that the people of Edina might have with regards to the proposed bike trail, safety, i.e. crime, is numero uno. The safety section at the 9MileCreek website is filled with horror stories of every conceivable bad thing that could happen to someone on the bike path including second hand stories from a guy who "heard" of "beer bottles thrown off the bridges at riders to people throwing big sticks in the spokes of riders' wheels and robbing them." Dozens of snippets of other stories are displayed throughout the website of people fearing for their lives and never being the same afterward. They pretty much all consist of muggings and robberies with no violence. It lead one man to an outrage: "I saw these reports on a local bikers website the day after my attack. I Googled "Greenway Bike Path Robberies." There had been as many as 10 similar incidents. Clearly a pattern. Clearly a problem. Why hadn't I heard about these? The day I began getting angry, Minneapolis police issued a crime alert." All these tales of woe lead the reader to one conclusion that bike paths bring an unstoppable wave of crime to wherever their smooth pavement may wend. Edina will soon be inundated with criminals and may just as well be a ghetto. But what safety all boils down to is concern for the children. Won't someone please think of the children. Well, they have! The path runs near multiple schools in Edina. "This would conceivably bring a large number of people each day into close proximity to our schools and playgrounds. This is a critical safety concern for many of us who have children attending those schools." Scary! One can only assume that once the bike path is opened, it will let all the pedophiles into the area. This bike path finally gives them a chance to penetrate the Edina Bubble Security Perimeter. One concerned opponent of the bike path even graciously linked us to the level III sex offender moving to Hopkins, where his bike path would connect to Edina. And, just last week, Edina police apprehended a sexual predator snooping around elementary schools. But I'm confused. How did he get into Edina? There is no bike path he can take. He must devised some other nefarious way of breaking into Edina. I know! It was the roads. We should immediately set up checkpoints on all roads connecting Edina with the outside world. Or better yet, just blow them up. | | Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 | | 10:31 pm |
Saving the Creek to Keep Out the Malefactors
Saving the Creek to Keep Out the Malefactors I noticed some houses in Edina, nearly all whose property is conveniently abutting the suddenly pertinent 9 Mile Creek, display signs supporting the preservation of said creek. Why, I wondered. I posited it had something to do with the recent uproar of plans for a a regional bike trail to wend its way through Edina from Hopkins and on to Richfield. After visiting the website on the signs, I seem to be correct in my assumption. The 9 Mile Creek website, www.9MileCreek.org, was created to "To Preserve The Natural Habitat & Wetlands Along 9 Mile Creek Watershed Through Edina". Its true purpose is born out of the not-in-my-neighborhood mentality ingrained in every Good Edinaian. Under the pretext of of saving the creek, the implied subtext is that this path will expose Edina to such things as crime, budget constraints, lower property values and the destruction of nature, all of which Edina has been immune to...until now. The creation of the path is tantamount to opening the floodgates for the lumpenproletariat invasion. We all know that child molesters, rapists and those shady minorities love to use the bike back for their nefarious designs and that without the bike path, they could never enter in Edina. But I'll get to that later. The site builds its case against the path under the guise of the Four Great Concerns: habitat, safety, budget and flooding. Though the FGC may have some validity, it is about as misleading as a FoxNews special. The website itself yields some insight into the Edina mindset. Here are some one my favorites. "At this time there are two endangered species living in and along Nine Mile Creek - the Blanding's Turtle (our state reptile) and the Cricket Frog." Who knew our state reptile was the Blanding Turtle? The bike path will destroy the precious cricket frog's disappearing natural habitat. How could this have come to be? The site goes on to talk about how pollution plays a key role in it. Hmm, what kind of pollution? A quick search on the MN Department of Natural Resources website finds that the decline in populations of the frog is partialy due to the the introduction of fertilizers and agricultural chemicals. I wonder if that includes the fertilizers and lawn care chemicals every true Edinian uses (via a lawn care service) to keep their lawns a healthy and luscious green. I should mention also that these environmentally conscious people have lawns that go up to or nearly up to the edge of the creek. It's ironic that much of the the frog's habitat has already been devoured by their own property, as well as roads, parks and other public works that make this city habitable. Yet these have all played a hand in degrading the frog's habitat. So, their concern for the creek's habitat might be a touch misguided. I'll focus on the safety issue in the next post. The quotes from there are where the true gems lie. | | Thursday, May 21st, 2009 | | 11:08 am |
All Ducks Go to Heaven
About a week ago, I discovered a cute little duckie nest well camouflaged on the side of our house. I took a peak and counted eight eggs. I was terribly excited to have eight potential little duckie neighbors (or the best omelet of my life) parading in a row to go down to the creek. But a couple a days ago, I noticed an empty nest and no mother in sight. There were no signs of hatching. Some wily predator has eaten my summer time fun. What a bummer. | | Saturday, April 11th, 2009 | | 11:05 am |
Fast & Furious: I Came for the One-Liners, Stayed For the Pecs
A complete review of this horrendous movie does not deserve my full attention. Rather, it's best to focus on the acting feats of Vin Diesel and his massive pecs. I'll have you know I went to this movie to laugh, not because it looked good. After 40 minutes though, I stopped laughing and the movie became a test of my mental autonomy. They say if you watch a Vin Diesel (VD) movie, you get VD'd. His one or two word lines are the sum of his acting repertoire and acumen. The writers unfortunately gave VD too many complete sentences instead of his famous one word quips we've all come to know and love. It was very disappointing. The pace of the of movie dragged on due to extended scenes of awkward dialogue, as if the director allowed VD and his supporting cast carte blanche to ad lib their lines but had to take some time to think of them first. The most furious part of the movie was VD's arms, pecs and fabulous facial closeups. I don't know why it is so popular in tv and movies now to have extreme closeups, as if I can't see actors emote from three feet away rather than three inches. I find it so irritating. But, back to the pecks. They were massive, seemingly more so than in roles past and probably bigger than some of those girls on Bret Michael's show 'Rock of Love'. And they were always accentuated but the constant arm-folding and tight white shirts. Don't go see it for the laughs, it turns out it's not worth it. And don't go see it cuz you think it will be good. That would just make you a loser. | | Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 | | 9:46 pm |
Home Again
I've been home for about a week now. To sum it up simply, it's been ok, the good countervailing the bad. I can't wait to find a job and move to China. Yesterday I finalized my plan to offset the declivitous and dangerous path I could follow by succumbing to the luxurious idleness my parent's home has to offer. I have to decided to move to Shanghai in September if I have not yet then found a job. The best part of the plan is that I can fully support myself in relative style on unemployment while in China without having to take up a temporary and most likely undesirable teaching position at some backwards school. Yay! |
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