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| Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | | 9:49 am |
I'm Back and Mostly Not Oppressed
The 60th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China has come and gone and so too the tight reigns of control over the internet. I can now get on most blogs but am still having trouble connecting to facebook. My friend has a proxy program that is supposed to be immune to the government's regulation and I should get it soon. Pics and updates are soon forthcoming on facebook, I hope. Chinese mosquitoes suck! | | Monday, September 14th, 2009 | | 6:05 pm |
Woo Hoo!
It's hasn't even been a week that I left but it feels like it was months ago. Let's see, what's happened to me so far. Um, all the new teachers got a physical which included an ultrasound (I'm not pregnant!), ekg, blood test, color blind test, a questionnaire asking if I have had diseases like the plague, leprosy, psychosis, yellow fever, etc. Strange test. I've just been living in a tiny hotel room this entire time hoping to find out where I will work so I can find an apartment. Shanghai is an amazing city and I can't wait to explore it further. I miss everyone and I don't know anyone here. I met other new teachers. They are cool but I don't have their phone number or know where they live. I hope I make some friends soon. Still trying to figure out how to connect to Facebook. I found a way to login but all I can do is read what people wrote. I cannot write anything or respond. Weird. More later once I get my life in order. Oh yeah, they made me audition the day after I got in. There were three teachers pretending to be kids and I had to do two impromptu lessons. They were whiney and annoying. | | Thursday, September 10th, 2009 | | 7:56 pm |
Wow
Oh my, it seems livejournal is not blocked now. Of course, Xanga still is. And so is Facebook, which really sucks. So I am glad to announce there will be regular updates on this blog. | | Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 | | 9:12 am |
Quick Update
OK, got into a car accident a few days ago. That sucked. It was my first one. Everyone was ok, just some minor damage to both persons front sides, dents, scraps, etc. This blog might be out of commission for a while. Last time I checked, both of my blogs were blocked in China. I'm leaving in a few hours. Sad to leave. I miss everyone | | Friday, September 4th, 2009 | | 9:55 am |
Na x 9 Got a Job!
The days of unemployment (and the Summer of David) are soon to end! As I have unfortunately discovered, unemployment is no less a plague than the locusts descending upon Egypt, each day another cloying verse in the poem of unending free time. But no more! I am now a teacher, gainfully employed to shape the minds of children with a foreign language. I have a new and sudden sense of liberty. By the time I start, I will have suffered and yet strangely enjoyed just over 10 months of being without a purpose. Yay! | | Thursday, August 6th, 2009 | | 12:38 pm |
I Ban International Talk Like a Pirate Day
A few days ago I was wiling away the hours through the pleasant lassitude of another lazy summer afternoon by watching the Lifetime reruns of the tv series Wife Swap. One of the families in this episode was a pirate family, parents so inspired by the Hollywood lifestyle of swashbuckling buccaneers that it consumes their entire life. Think of the Renaissance Festival 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Their poor kid (and dog) is doomed to fail if he is continued to be raised under the winds of his parents monumental ignorance and idiocy. These scofflaws days are spent indulging in their own fancy, whether it be sword fighting, belting out a hearty "Arrggh!"or just turning their noses at conventional society. I doubt they actually know anything about real pirates anyway. At least that is how they were portrayed in the episode. Anyway, the narrator mentions that the father of this Portland family (of course it's Portland) is the founder of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, a once novel idea to me that happened to fall on my birthday. Now that this man's salient trait of stupidity has been revealed, I can no longer support this annual event of unleashing the inner buccaneer. Do not support him anymore. How about a Talk Like Me Day instead? Hmm...maybe not. | | Monday, July 27th, 2009 | | 9:46 am |
| | Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 | | 10:29 am |
Jobs Galore
After an fervent and exhaustive 20 minute internet search, I have finally landed a job interview teaching English in Shanghai. Haha, 'twas nothing. Finding a teaching job over there is like shooting fish in a barrel. Finding a good one? That's the main hurdle. This one looks pretty good. In other news, the original job I interviewed for (in manufacturing) is back on the table and I plan to meet with them in August. I'm sure that I will have already accepted the teaching job and, I'm sure it happens many times, I will have to back out. At least I won't have signed a contract. | | Sunday, July 19th, 2009 | | 6:39 pm |
Plan B
In my haste to move to China, I have made a grave error in arranging my affairs. This week I purchased my plane ticket to leave September 8th but ran into the China visa quandary. I soon after realized that without a job I only can get a tourist visa. These visas can last up to a year with multiple entries, but my stay for each time I enter China is only a measly thirty days. After thirty days are up, I must leave the country for a day or two and then return. So, I did an appraisal of all my miserable, miserable options. Here they are: A) Obtain a one-year multiple-entry tourist visa and fly to Hong Kong every month B) Get a job teaching English but fast C) Live in China illegally on a expired visa D) Give up, not go and pray I get that job I interviewed for I choose B. | | Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 | | 7:25 pm |
They Only Come Out at Night and During the Day
So, I have severely neglected my blog this summer and I aim to make amends. Everyone is clamoring to see pictures of CONvergence 2009. Well, here's the link: http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a121/daidawei/Convergence%202009/The pictures do not even remotely do justice to the CON experience. For that, one must either attend or watch my amazing videos. All I can say is that I had a fun time but I would never do it again. Attending such an event is a near phantasmagorical experience mixed with fat people, Furries and Klingons. I cannot abide another CON. | | Friday, June 19th, 2009 | | 11:12 am |
| | Monday, June 1st, 2009 | | 10:52 am |
Part Deux: Predators in Paradise
Of all the concerns that the people of Edina might have with regards to the proposed bike trail, safety, i.e. crime, is numero uno. The safety section at the 9MileCreek website is filled with horror stories of every conceivable bad thing that could happen to someone on the bike path including second hand stories from a guy who "heard" of "beer bottles thrown off the bridges at riders to people throwing big sticks in the spokes of riders' wheels and robbing them." Dozens of snippets of other stories are displayed throughout the website of people fearing for their lives and never being the same afterward. They pretty much all consist of muggings and robberies with no violence. It lead one man to an outrage: "I saw these reports on a local bikers website the day after my attack. I Googled "Greenway Bike Path Robberies." There had been as many as 10 similar incidents. Clearly a pattern. Clearly a problem. Why hadn't I heard about these? The day I began getting angry, Minneapolis police issued a crime alert." All these tales of woe lead the reader to one conclusion that bike paths bring an unstoppable wave of crime to wherever their smooth pavement may wend. Edina will soon be inundated with criminals and may just as well be a ghetto. But what safety all boils down to is concern for the children. Won't someone please think of the children. Well, they have! The path runs near multiple schools in Edina. "This would conceivably bring a large number of people each day into close proximity to our schools and playgrounds. This is a critical safety concern for many of us who have children attending those schools." Scary! One can only assume that once the bike path is opened, it will let all the pedophiles into the area. This bike path finally gives them a chance to penetrate the Edina Bubble Security Perimeter. One concerned opponent of the bike path even graciously linked us to the level III sex offender moving to Hopkins, where his bike path would connect to Edina. And, just last week, Edina police apprehended a sexual predator snooping around elementary schools. But I'm confused. How did he get into Edina? There is no bike path he can take. He must devised some other nefarious way of breaking into Edina. I know! It was the roads. We should immediately set up checkpoints on all roads connecting Edina with the outside world. Or better yet, just blow them up. | | Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 | | 10:31 pm |
Saving the Creek to Keep Out the Malefactors
Saving the Creek to Keep Out the Malefactors I noticed some houses in Edina, nearly all whose property is conveniently abutting the suddenly pertinent 9 Mile Creek, display signs supporting the preservation of said creek. Why, I wondered. I posited it had something to do with the recent uproar of plans for a a regional bike trail to wend its way through Edina from Hopkins and on to Richfield. After visiting the website on the signs, I seem to be correct in my assumption. The 9 Mile Creek website, www.9MileCreek.org, was created to "To Preserve The Natural Habitat & Wetlands Along 9 Mile Creek Watershed Through Edina". Its true purpose is born out of the not-in-my-neighborhood mentality ingrained in every Good Edinaian. Under the pretext of of saving the creek, the implied subtext is that this path will expose Edina to such things as crime, budget constraints, lower property values and the destruction of nature, all of which Edina has been immune to...until now. The creation of the path is tantamount to opening the floodgates for the lumpenproletariat invasion. We all know that child molesters, rapists and those shady minorities love to use the bike back for their nefarious designs and that without the bike path, they could never enter in Edina. But I'll get to that later. The site builds its case against the path under the guise of the Four Great Concerns: habitat, safety, budget and flooding. Though the FGC may have some validity, it is about as misleading as a FoxNews special. The website itself yields some insight into the Edina mindset. Here are some one my favorites. "At this time there are two endangered species living in and along Nine Mile Creek - the Blanding's Turtle (our state reptile) and the Cricket Frog." Who knew our state reptile was the Blanding Turtle? The bike path will destroy the precious cricket frog's disappearing natural habitat. How could this have come to be? The site goes on to talk about how pollution plays a key role in it. Hmm, what kind of pollution? A quick search on the MN Department of Natural Resources website finds that the decline in populations of the frog is partialy due to the the introduction of fertilizers and agricultural chemicals. I wonder if that includes the fertilizers and lawn care chemicals every true Edinian uses (via a lawn care service) to keep their lawns a healthy and luscious green. I should mention also that these environmentally conscious people have lawns that go up to or nearly up to the edge of the creek. It's ironic that much of the the frog's habitat has already been devoured by their own property, as well as roads, parks and other public works that make this city habitable. Yet these have all played a hand in degrading the frog's habitat. So, their concern for the creek's habitat might be a touch misguided. I'll focus on the safety issue in the next post. The quotes from there are where the true gems lie. | | Thursday, May 21st, 2009 | | 11:08 am |
All Ducks Go to Heaven
About a week ago, I discovered a cute little duckie nest well camouflaged on the side of our house. I took a peak and counted eight eggs. I was terribly excited to have eight potential little duckie neighbors (or the best omelet of my life) parading in a row to go down to the creek. But a couple a days ago, I noticed an empty nest and no mother in sight. There were no signs of hatching. Some wily predator has eaten my summer time fun. What a bummer. | | Saturday, April 11th, 2009 | | 11:05 am |
Fast & Furious: I Came for the One-Liners, Stayed For the Pecs
A complete review of this horrendous movie does not deserve my full attention. Rather, it's best to focus on the acting feats of Vin Diesel and his massive pecs. I'll have you know I went to this movie to laugh, not because it looked good. After 40 minutes though, I stopped laughing and the movie became a test of my mental autonomy. They say if you watch a Vin Diesel (VD) movie, you get VD'd. His one or two word lines are the sum of his acting repertoire and acumen. The writers unfortunately gave VD too many complete sentences instead of his famous one word quips we've all come to know and love. It was very disappointing. The pace of the of movie dragged on due to extended scenes of awkward dialogue, as if the director allowed VD and his supporting cast carte blanche to ad lib their lines but had to take some time to think of them first. The most furious part of the movie was VD's arms, pecs and fabulous facial closeups. I don't know why it is so popular in tv and movies now to have extreme closeups, as if I can't see actors emote from three feet away rather than three inches. I find it so irritating. But, back to the pecks. They were massive, seemingly more so than in roles past and probably bigger than some of those girls on Bret Michael's show 'Rock of Love'. And they were always accentuated but the constant arm-folding and tight white shirts. Don't go see it for the laughs, it turns out it's not worth it. And don't go see it cuz you think it will be good. That would just make you a loser. | | Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 | | 9:46 pm |
Home Again
I've been home for about a week now. To sum it up simply, it's been ok, the good countervailing the bad. I can't wait to find a job and move to China. Yesterday I finalized my plan to offset the declivitous and dangerous path I could follow by succumbing to the luxurious idleness my parent's home has to offer. I have to decided to move to Shanghai in September if I have not yet then found a job. The best part of the plan is that I can fully support myself in relative style on unemployment while in China without having to take up a temporary and most likely undesirable teaching position at some backwards school. Yay! | | Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 | | 1:39 pm |
Midday Malaise
A lack of new things to entertain me and a boredom with the daily rituals of unemployed life have ushered me into the dangerous past-time of daytime television. I held deaf ears to its ominous siren song for months but cannot hold out any longer and, being trapped, the fraudulent prospects of entertaining programming are foisted upon me. There has been a 4 year gap or so from the last time I habitually watched daytime television, namely, back in college when it was funny. Here are some of my findings in my early forays: 1. There used to be like a million court shows. Now there's like a billion. 2. Steve, the popular Jerry Springer Show muscle now has his own tv talk show entitled "Steve Silkos". Based on the 10 minutes I watched, the pompous and holier-than-thou Steve vomits his mantras and advice from his high horse to his Springer-esque guests. He dishes it out like it is, baby! 3. What daytime review would be complete without the styles of the Maury Show. Out of his humble days reading paternity results to uneducated and irresponsible people, Maury has now taken this game to a whole new level. See title "8 Shows, 10 Paternity Test, 0 Fathers". Oh, obese ugly woman, will you ever find your baby daddy? | | Monday, February 2nd, 2009 | | 7:21 pm |
Veneration Be Damned
Last week the gym's youthful and vibrant setting was bombarded by an infiltration of a group of geriatrics bent on prolonging life. As luck would have it, each contented themselves to use the machines that I wanted to use and get old people atoms over everything. It is a testament to my common indignation of the elderly. It is hard to fathom that old people don't have any place to go but my gym. Instead of them being allowed to roam free among the gym's general population and facilities, despoiling everything with their elderly musk, torpidly measured gait and a deathlike countenance, let us offer them their own physical fitness regiment. They already have their own restaurants (Denny's, supper clubs), tv shows (Matlock, Wheel of Fortune), clothes (pants, all the way to the armpits) and much, much more. This new regiment can consist of private classes, away from us whippersnappers and ragamuffins to which no hard candy can placate our disdain of the plague of decrepitudeness (is that even a word?). Here's some potential class options: "Exercise, She wrote" "Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Situps" Pallbearer Tournament League "Test Your Strength, Test It Often" Wilfred Brimley health class I must point out, I really bear no ill will but quit hogging the machines. | | Monday, January 26th, 2009 | | 9:24 pm |
Stuff
Happy Year of the Ox! Or, as I say, Year of the Awesome. 牛（Ox, cow) is slang for awesome. I think we should eat whatever animal of the year it is. Dragon is delicious. Eat This! A Short, Short Review I watched "Raptor World" last night on the Sci-fi Channel. It wasn't very good, but if you could survive the first half hour, it was passable. There were some pretty amusing lines and scenes throughout and I am glad I notched another SFC movie under my belt. Here were 4 things that amused me. 1. "Eat This!" The best line delivered in the movie. The grizzled marine veteran shoves his shotgun into a raptor's mouth and spits out this line before blowing its head off. 2. Incorrect Metaphor Usage. One woman comments on the planet's odd and eerie perfect replica (or is it a replica...ooooh!) of an Elizabethan town, complete with giant stone bug statues. She questions which planet's culture originated the Elizabethan architecture and offers no conclusion. The other woman she was talking to responds "the chicken or the egg." Um, no. Sorry, thanks for playing. That's not how it works. 3. Forgetting How to Act! When one of the stone bug statues comes to life, sneaks up on a woman, and puts its ahdn on her shoulder, she does not react. She just turns her head and looks at the bug dude. No scream, no facial expression, no jump back, nothing. Good thing one of the soldiers came to her aid and said in the most casual way possible, like asking someone to pass you the potatoes, "Get your hands off her." 4. The Shocker! Lest my eyes deceive me, the raptor's nest scene in Raptor World is the exact same footage used in Raptor Island. Got you, Sci-fi Channel! And I'm pretty sure the cave system was the same too. Is the economy that bad that you have to recycle your clips, like animated stock footage, so to speak? Sad. Pizza! Why do pizza companies advertise their pizzas as being made with real cheese? Are there any pizzas that aren't made with real cheese? | | Friday, January 23rd, 2009 | | 8:49 pm |
Trials, Tribulations and Ultimately, Success. But Why Should I Suffer?
Mid-December, I ordered four books from Alibris.com, my favorite online book repository. One book came, the remaining three did not. I patiently waited the mandated 30 days to pass before contacting customer service by email, the only option. Gulp! The task was plain and simple: find out what happened to my order and resolve the situation. The obviously outsourced and most likely Indian rep told me that the order must have been lost and automatically issued me a refund for the remaining three books. On the surface, it was a nice and quick resolution that any dope could handle. But my order totaled over $50 so as to qualify for free shipping. To get the three other books, I would now have to pay s/h. With a pessimistic mood, I contacted India again, this time to plead my case for reimbursement of shipping owing to Alibris' error. I received a negative cookie cutter response as expected. I tried again, clinging to the hopeless belief that the logic of my case would swing a result in my favor. Shot down twice with a near verbatim response as the first. So I decided to contact the real customer service, the Alibris CEO. A well-constructed, polite and concise letter was all that was needed. A day later, an Alibris client service rep (client service must be the real customer service) emailed me and sorted the whole thing out. I got my shipping refunded. Hooray! All this nonsense got me thinking, not too much, not too little, just enough to write a blog. What is the point of outsourcing customer service aside from the assumed (I say assume because what if it's not true)? If they have to do anything more complicated than type in your order number, they are practically useless. In my experience, they utterly fail at anything other than the perfunctory undertaking, like robots who were only programmed to add and subtract yet asked to multiply or divide. It seems to me that the real concept of service is lost upon the customer service representative (CSR). The CSR is by design either incapable or not allowed to think outside the box. No, "the box" is the wrong analogy. They aren't even qualified to think in the 3D real world. They are resigned to a 2D plane, following the written rules. That is not customer service. Service should not be fettered by limitations and poor training to the detriment of service itself. A while later I realized it wasn't the CRS's fault. It was Alibris'. Ailbris is responsible for their service whether outsourced or in house, just as an importer would (and should) be held responsible for say, oh, bringing in dolls tainted with lead paint. A dissatisfied customer who must waste time with inept peons and go out of his way to find competent service is ridiculous and the company that scorns its customers is responsible. *haha, the live-journal spell-checker doesn't know the word "blog". |
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